How can I ask self-disclosing questions?
A very common way to try to get acquainted is to ask questions. Some questions may encourage self-disclosing, whereas others may discourage it. "Why" questions limit answers , i.e., they encourage "yes" or "no" answers, or invite excuses and rationalizations. "How" or "what" questions often tend to evoke open- ended answers.
Answer the following questions and notice the difference in the degree of the amount self-disclosure! What is your favorite self-disclosing question? Did the questions seem to encourage self-disclosure or evoke a "yes" or "no" answer? How do you feel in revealing yourself to your teacher? What did you learn about self-disclosure and about yourself?
1. What is your favorite joke? [1]
2. What is do you think is most difficult for you to do?
3. What would be a perfect evening for you?
4. If you were to die this evening, what would you most regret not having done?
5. What are you feeling as you describe yourself now?
6. If you weren't what you are, what would you be?
7. What is it like being you?
Reflection
Extra Credit: ( 10 points )
Report in the next week how people interact with you. Note what the conversation focus is.
How often do they, or you, ask self-disclosing questions? What were those questions? Experiment with making up some self-disclosing questions. . What did you learn?
[1] David Johnson, Reaching Out: Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self-Actualization, 9th ed., Boston: Allyn and Bacon 2006, p.74]
Email: rbrehm@msn.com Telephone: Cell 206-930-4197.
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